That's a great way to build up resentment, and resentment is one of the things that will poison a relationship. You don't want a polyamorous relationship , which is perfectly legitimate. There was a lot of hand-stuff and messy-kissing all over the place. I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl for around 2 and a half years, we met in the USA while I was working out there and then moved back to the UK. A number of people who've thought that they were pretty solidly heterosexual or homosexual have been surprised to find that they have been having sweaty thoughts about someone outside of their preferred gender. That can be difficult enough when you're single. What will it take for you to feel comfortable trusting her again without reserve? If you do decide to take her back, you may need to reconsider the nature of your relationship or where it's going to go.
Even if you choose not to try some form of non-monogamy which, again, is decidedly not for everyone , these books can help give you the tools and vocabulary to try to find a path to happiness for the both of you. Do you want to try? Why would breaking up with her be more acceptable than giving her a certain amount of freedom? The second time was definitely better. Can you forgive and let things go? Maybe I could be fine if she slept with a woman just a few times? Now you're left with any number of questions. That will have to be something you both think about when the time comes to decide if this relationship is going to be more than just long-distance. I for one would be OK if she broke up with me to experience this. Long distance relationships are hard enough without an end to the distance in sight. When two women have sex, it is as unique, awkward and liberating as any other kind of sex. If your wife wants or needs to explore that other side of her sexuality, then the last thing that's going to help is having you in the mix. Hi Doc, Big fan of your column, hopefully you can help me out! Good luck, and write back let us know how things are going. It isn't an idle question; if we want to find a potential solution, it's important to really interrogate your feelings and get to the core of what is bothering you. For a week and a half, you can grit your teeth through the hard parts because you know that you'll be going home soon. That's a shitty thing to do, and if you hadn't found what you found, it would be especially dickish. She's functionally dependent on you in a lot of ways. It was such a natural and liberating experience. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. We decided we wanted to give it a go long distance, neither of us had done it before but we were just so happy with each other. I was nervous as hell once we started kissing, but after a few seconds, it felt so right, that I was totally swept up in the moment! We broke up but are still talking and are both harbouring the idea of getting back together, but I don't know if I can trust her with what I have now seen, it is making me very paranoid. Harris O'Malley is a writer and dating coach who provides geek dating advice at his blog Paging Dr. I ask you to really dig in and question how you feel because the more you understand how this makes you feel, the more you'll be able to talk this out with your girlfriend. Hey Doc, So I'm in a bind here.
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